The Slowest. Moving. Tractor/Train Wreck. Ever.

The Slowest. Moving. Tractor/Train Wreck. Ever.

YOU KNOW THAT SCENE IN AUSTIN POWERS when he’s driving the tractor toward the guard at the slowest speed ever and he has plenty of time to get out of Mike Meyers’ way but instead he stands there and yells STOOOOPPPPP and eventually (I think 4 hours later or maybe the movie just seemed that long) the guard gets run over by the tractor? That is how I feel right now. This upcoming trip (it starts Monday OMG) is the tractor. And of course I’m the idiot guard. I’m not complaining. Yes I am about to go around the world with a hot man that happens to love me (will wonders never cease). And yes it is AWESOME and I am so excited. But these two weeks with my family in Southern California have given me time to worry and schvitz and plotz over all that is not done yet. The whole we’ll-fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants thing sounds great in theory, but when we are sleeping next to a llama in a farm stall because all of the hotels on the continent of South America are sold out and we were too late to book a plane ticket to the obscure dunes in Bolivia that we can only fly to twice a month, it’s not going to seem so whimsical. The past 10 days have been amazing — time with my parents, family visiting us in Oceanside, long afternoons in Encinitas (I could live there) and Carlsbad (there too) and Torrey Pines (golf anyone?) plus a weekend in Palm Springs (the hot husband got me up for early AM hikes THRICE before 7am)… It’s been fantastic. Anthony even went surfing a couple of times and looooved it (thanks Dan). Tomorrow we head up to LA to stay with my sister and her man in Santa Monica (thanks again Dan) for the next few days, which will be fab too. But then Monday. MONDAY IT IS ALL HAPPENING. Off to Brazil we go, and the whole thing begins. For those of you who know me, you are aware that I have a hard time letting go of control. Idina Menzel can sing her star-spangled heart out, it won’t make a difference. But even though I know this trip is coming, even though I know I should be researching and emailing and reading reviews and booking hotels and flights while I still can, I’m not. Instead I’m sitting here with my second glass of wine and Goldfish crackers, blogging, as everyone else in our cute little house is passed out. I’m smiling at my mom, my dad, my husband as they all take turns getting up for a glass of water or to use the bathroom, each one telling me to get to bed soon, then going back to sleep as I go back to writing. We have lots of holes in our itinerary to fill, and we’ll get there. But for now, for some reason (it could be the wine, this is not lost on me), it’s ok. We will figure out the trip. Reservations will be made. Flights will be booked. If not, I’m sure there’s a llama looking for a sleep partner. For now, I’m going to savor the quiet, appreciate the unknown and hold my breath, waiting for the tractor to approach…

– D.

7 Responses

  1. This RTW trip is going to teach you sooo much about yourself! Such a gift. And that is one lucky llama :) xoxo

  2. Stephanie MacNeil

    My friend, I must tell you that I have been worried about details on your behalf since you sprung your little trip around the world on us! Remember my comment about packing for the jungle and arctic?????? LOL! BUT, you must also know that sooooo many of us who could never pull off this kind of adventure are completely jealous and anxiously waiting updates from around the world! You are going to have an AMAZING time, one that VERY few people are ever able to experience, so you must enjoy every second of it, on behalf of those of us who will never do this! Love you guys! Have fun and be safe! Can’t wait to hear all about it! -Steph

    • Denise Rehrig

      Thank you Steph! I can’t wait to see you all and tell you about the jungle :) xoxo

  3. So very much enjoying this saga! Safe travels. Your many friends will be following vicariously.

  4. You got this. Even when you don’t, those are the memories you will remember most! I would look for an Alpaca instead of a Llama. They are much softer.

  5. The adrenaline, excitement & “appreciating the unknown”…. I love this!! No worries, things will fall in place, I’m sure of it!
    I’m soo excited for you & Anthony. The series of adventures, sites, cultures, people & food omg the food!! (Take lots of pics)
    Get plenty rest tonight, that tractor takes off tomorrow.
    Love you cousin – Elle

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